The question that no one can answer with a definite how much is enough. We all have our different struggles in our marriages/relationships, but some deeper than other. So, the perfect picture is painted the lines are there, but the colors are not bright enough to fill her soul.
There is a missing link of a loneliness that comes from deep within. The red flags that are there from the beginning, but you refuse to see them, naive enough to think it is nothing. Years go by and those flags become more obvious as the honeymoon is over, and reality kicks in revealing the true colors.
Is that even love when the person that you devoted yourself to brings you more sadness than happiness. How do you determine if the daily routine of a kiss in the morning and I love you at night is enough these are empty words with no true meaning? Their actions speak a different story to certain situations, being present and really have that person’s interests at heart.
We have all heard the dreaded word "narcissist" and these days it gets used out of context because if you have one or 2 of these characteristic then you not a narcissist, but if you tick all the boxes then you have a problem. Is it your mind playing tricks on you or is this the hard truth that you know deep down inside, of what you are facing to live with for the rest of your life?
So yes, he loves you but is that enough is that all you need as a woman or is there more. Narcissist love is different, it is not real love, but how they perceive love to be. There are two options the one is you lose yourself completely if you not already have done so or two you move on and heal from living this life that changed you to a point that you no longer know what your favorite color is because you were too busy being the perfect version of you that he wants and listening to him telling you what you like. There is no such version as nothing you do will ever change him or make him treat you better even if you perfect.
The truth of the matter is there is no being happy with a narcissist as it is their way, or the highway and they will tell you this. Their selfish needs whether it is buying you a big gift, to make him look good in front of other people or turning you into a trophy to add to his collection, in order for everyone to see the great life you are living. No one will ever understand how you can leave such a perfect man, that is because you have never disclosed to anyone what happens behind close doors as you too were in denial about what is really happening in your life.
For everyone who has ever wondered if their husband/partner is a narcissist there is a book called DISARMING THE NARCISSIST. The guilt will eat you up inside and he will make you out to be crazy and absolutely ungrateful for everything he has given you. The one thing he could not give you though was emotional support and seeing you as his number one priority.
You try to speak to him but that turns into a bomb explosion of you being the bad one and if you not happy you must go and you are ungrateful and just being a typical crazy woman. “Maybe I am crazy”. This thought does cross your mind. Or Maybe I am worth more than being made quiet when I want to speak about things that are real and that bother me. Maybe all the times you were speaking, and he did not listen or just interrupt you as if you do not exist. You are merely around to exist for their needs whether it is to make them look and feel good or to boost their ego as long as you do that you will be ok and you can just live and make it all about him always. That is if you prepared to become and empty shell and robot daily.
Fake it till you make it, there is no such thing you will never make it or survive this and be yourself again.
Your daily life will consist of yes and agreeing to everything he says whether his right or wrong. You start to just say yes not voicing your opinion, giving input, or saying what you feel like or want. He does not care about what you say, as long as it is yes to him you will be fine and the best wife/partner ever.
Do you find yourself thinking daily of what it is you doing here, not knowing what you want in life, not being able to concentrate but thinking about life and have this unsettled feeling that you don’t belong the whole day. To a point that it consumes you so much that is all you feel every day. Do yourself a favor and do not give in or let go of yourself. There is a way out and you are not crazy.
Special Thanks to a strong Woman for sharing this with WTF to inspire another strong Woman💪